I have regrets, they're running through my head.

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


I like this quote very much. It encompasses what I feel in some ways, and outlines things that are important to me. Yes.


Today, I redeemed a $50 iTunes voucher I got Christmas before last which I didn't want at the time but I now appreciate. I was upset in 2010 because everyone else got lovely things and I just got vouchers and money which didn't feel like anything much at all especially since I like being able to unwrap things and I think I only unwrapped one actual thing that year. I'm okay with it now, I got some lovely things with the presents (flat cap! :D) though in the end, I think it was just emotionalness and disappointed which gave me that reaction and the sense that I worked out what I wanted and wrote it down but everyone ignored my list.


Anyhow, I was upset when I thought I lost it and then I found it a week or so back and was bummed cos I thought they expired in a year BUT TURNS OUT THEY EXPIRE TWO YEARS AFTER THEY ARE BOUGHT YEAAAAAHHHH so I redeemed it and now I have $50 from my lovely uncle and aunt to spend on music! Hooray! I can think of some scrumptious things to buy, but any suggestions would be WELCOME. :)


Recently (aka for the last month or two, maybe three) I have been listening to a lot of Oscar Lush. He's amazing, he plays an acoustic, folky, lyrical style of music and it's utterly gorgeous. His EP he also recorded with one of my brother's friends which is nice. :) Check him out here!


Today was okay, I went to school for the first time in nine days, and the five days before that were eisteddfod filled and a public holiday so school is a pretty alien concept at the moment. Learning however isn't, yay!  I was running late getting ready even though I had a free first so Mum gave me a lift to school which was nice and I found out MY SCHOOL'S ENSEMBLES ARE GOING TO AMERICA NEXT YEAR. COOL BEANSSS GUYS. I'm not that keen on America cos I always hear about it from Mum and she dislikes it but if I go, it'll be great to find out for myself. :) It would be my.... (Australia, England, Scotland (half a country) NZ, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic) 9.5th country! :D Scotland is not a country as it only fufills 6 out of 8 of the requirements - fun fact! Hmm, funny how 6 of those countries are all on music tours ^___^


I didn't have to do my maths test which was great, and I didn't really pay attention in maths or chemistry today, because in maths I was feeling kinda uptight and chem I was booored and there's a test tomorrow and what he was doing wasn't interesting and unrelated to the test and we kinda already did it before. I spent the period after rearranging all my assessments but for one which ended up standing still (my chem one) and I had to learn a weeks worth of chem work for tomorrow.... which I have done most of, yay! I went to a library in the city for the next 4 or 5 hours and did some work which was lovely :) OVER 3 HOURS OF CHEM WOW IT GOT SO BORING. 


I really enjoy and like libraries. They're open and quiet. I don't have anywhere to go so I don't leave what I'm doing all the time. Other people are there, quietly working and you might get to exchange a smile with them. You can write or type or whatever. There's places for reading. At one of the libraries I go to, there are wide windowsills in the reading room and you can sit on them in the sunlight and read. I like them because you can be in there for hours and the world outside will go past, but it won't get boring unless you run out of things you want to do and that's rare. I like how you can be in there for ages and watch people come and go and have coffees. Things happen, they're not terribly important. The guy next to me today was a med student, that was nice. And the other guy next to me was older and had lots of book on art and other things I didn't know about. Libraries are awfully nice, and you can be alone, companionably. Everyone is lovely to each other - I remember a bloke asked me if I could mind his stuff while he got a coffee one time when I was in Stack. It was nice, it wasn't a problem at all so I said yes. :) When I'm at the State Library on busy days, people watch your stuff while you get lunch or a coffee or something, make sure no one nicks it. Sometimes a bloke comes in and charges his phone because he has nowhere else to. That's okay. :) It just feels like such a quietly accepting environment.


The only problem with libraries is that I always get a runny nose if I don't have a handkerchief. :P That's embarrassing!


This morning was nice, my cat - Meg - sat on my left shoulder for ages as I wandered around the house, getting (and drinking) a glass of milk and packing my bag. :) She's a lovely warm thing for my neck! :D

Don’t you know the sunset’s only young.

So it seems that I'm not doing so well on my quest so far having eaten some chocolate (to tell you the truth, it was a gift and I did lots of exercise today so not quite such a biggie) and since I am not asleep yet (I'm in no condition to sleep really). However, I have made some progress! Woop!

My room is clean, really clean. I cleaned it up Friday before yesterday's Friday and got rid of all sorts of middens and shit and straightened out the huuuge creases in my carpet/rug on the floor. I also cleared out my 'special things' shelf in my bookshelf which was nice as it was getting rather cluttered but it's all organised and nice now :)
Today I added to the cleanliness of my room by cleaning my school and music books shelf which was great, I now know what's in there and it's not chocca with bits and pieces of rubbish - I certainly filled my recycling bin! I also got rid of/tidied away a stack of books on my chair which I use for bassoon practise which is useful and emptied a clean washbasket full of clothes this morning... although there's another one there now because it's a Saturday and that ees how my fambam rolls.

Today I also danced for about four hours although it was a slog as I am hammered from a six day music camp earlier this week and a Distance Education excursion yesterday where i met new people - equally exhausting really! It was good though, and I learnt and consolidated some new exercises - hooray! However I have not commenced maths study properly for my test on Monday and that isn't good, especially with church and a gig tomorrow on top of my extreme exhaustion.

I found out today that I have 6 periods free on Monday and an all day strike on Wednesday so I shall be able to catch up on school work and sleep in those times. Hooray! This is good, this is good!

Also, the titles of my posts. I don't like having to put in real, relevant titles (a remnant from tumblr, I'm sure) so I shall fill them up with song lyrics - if not, then quotes.

Probably about sums it up!

I've started this blog because I've had this feeling recently. A feeling that I want to make a change in my life, make things different. It's not changing who I am, but changing what I do, and hopefully in the process become a happier and better person. I guess this has been since my stopping of using tumblr, it's freed me up in a way and not being at school for a while has as well. It's been making me happier, and more free and better able to stand back and look at myself.

I want to change some things about the way I live.
I want to start eating healthier.
I want to remember to turn off lights and be bothered to recycle things.
I want to do some exercise daily, even if it's only walking to and from the station.
I want to live a simpler, cleaner life.
I would like to become vegetarian but as I know that would be detrimental for my personal health, I'd like to start eating better and hopefully be more aware as to where my food is coming from.
I want to lead a more vintage life, although vintage isn't the word. Old fashioned perhaps? I live in a suburb with quite a lot of older people, walking past and saying hi and having conversations makes me feel so happy. I want small things like that to become something which I find the norm, and for me to spend less time on the computer.
I want to stop eating chocolate.
I want to wear nice clothing, and wear it hard.
I want to make sure I always have my moleskine on my so I can write the lyrics which go through my head, down.
I want to write more letters to my cousin Lara and Cat and Isabella.
I want to be kinder to people, especially my family.
I want to stop getting behind in work as much.
I want to try harder for Frankie, my lovely boy.
I want to smile more.
I want to do things like baking and gardening more as they make me feel happier and freer.
I want to visit my grandparents more often.
I want to save for things and not fritter away money.
I want to give.
I want to learn to stop always taking and then make sure I stop.
I want to make a difference and start taking action in the world.
I want to learn to be more honest with myself and other people.
I want to make sure I don't forget and ignore friends, but take the time and emotional energy to talk to them.
I want to keep my room clean and stop hoarding things.
I want to practise and get better at my two instruments.